Yes, Im 190lbs and Almost 30!

So let us talk about weight loss.

*Disclaimer, I am not really talking about my weight loss or like how I have lost some magical number with a diet pill so be warned. *

I imagined that this whole motherhood thing would be a lot better then what it is. This is not to say that it is terrible because it is not. I REPEAT IT IS NOT!!! So before you come for me in the comments continue reading. You always hear about postpartum depression after a pregnancy and I also imagined it would come and go as it should which is fairly quickly once your child is born. Perhaps, though I was wrong (fairly certain of it). I find myself stuck in a state of uncertainty when it comes to motherhood. Mostly because I struggle with the changes that I went through AFTER my daughter was born. (one day I will go further into this… but NOT TODAY SUCKERS)

So I have not lost any weight since December 2013 and here it is March 2020 and about the only thing I have lost is muscle definition and my freaking mind. In fact, I have gained and I mean gained so much that I never had on me even during pregnancy. YIKES!! It is so hard to self-motivate (my opinion) and I have no idea why I have been so stuck in this state. I start and then stop, I begin and then tap out, I run but then decide to just walk. WHY HAS THIS BEEN SO HARD!!

(2014 PICS BELOW)

Struggling with my depression and moving back into my parent’s home with my daughter has been more or less a game changer!! It is hard to accept life at this stage and for that matter at any stage!! Acceptance is so hard but it is something that I try to work on every day. You would honestly think that by now I would be super accepting of my life but I am not. I have a sadness where I am like “this is my life now… ugh, I AM DAMN NEAR 30!”

(2016 PICS BELOW)

SO, what now? Right, because that is why we complain so we can talk about how we are going to fix it. Well, that is this year’s long term theme for me which is “GROUNDED!” Get grounded boo haha LIVE LONGER and STRONGER and get your life fulfilled. Go workout out at least 2-3x a week cause ain’t nobody gonna work out for you! Remind myself that even if I do not hit the treadmill one day that there is always tomorrow. Lastly, GET YOUR OWN PLACE AGAIN!!

(2018 PICS BELOW)

All of these items I am going to include you in on because I mean why not … you basically see the changes on social media. There you are scrolling when BAM a person that looks like Aryiel but is totally not what you remember …I know I know … I see the same. Oh and then you might even ask yourself “Yo I wonder what is going on in her life?” Well, I will tell you lol no need to wonder bro! haha… Okay, I guess I will stop here out of fear that I will just keep on blabbing!

LATER LOVERS!

2020 (the only full body I have)